Parenting is one of life’s greatest joys, but let's be honest, it can also leave you drained, frazzled, and wondering where on earth all your energy went. Between the feeding, the bedtime battles, and the endless snack requests, it’s no surprise that intimacy can take a backseat. This topic is exactly why we’re thrilled to welcome Leonie back for part three of the Care for Kids x The Parenthood Podcast for content series.
Leonie is a relationship coach, public speaker, and proud mum of two. With her warm, honest approach, she helps couples maintain connection and closeness amidst the chaos of parenting. Together, we’ve explored a common yet unspoken question among parents everywhere: How can we nurture intimacy when exhaustion has taken over?
Where Did the Affection Go?
Before kids, affection flowed naturally. We kissed hello and goodbye, we held hands, and we gave our partners our undivided attention. But after becoming parents, something shifts. Now, we’re often on the receiving end of sticky toddler hugs and tiny hands grabbing at us throughout the day. By the time our kids are finally asleep, we’re touched out, emotionally spent, and intimacy with our partner can feel like just another item on the never-ending to-do list.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Leonie understands how overwhelming this season of life can feel. But the good news? With a few small, meaningful changes, you can foster connection and rekindle that spark.
Start with Yourself
Leonie emphasises a truth that’s too often overlooked in parenting conversations – you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re running on fumes, it’s no wonder intimacy feels like a stretch. The key? Finding micro-moments of self-care to help you reset.
It might not look the same as it did before kids, but even 15 minutes of “me time” can make a difference. Maybe it’s enjoying a quiet cup of tea in the sunshine, a quick catch-up with a friend, or escaping into your favourite podcast. These small rituals can recharge your batteries, leaving you more present and in tune with your partner.
Small Acts, Big Impact
When life gets busy (and honestly, when is it not?), it’s the little things that can have the greatest impact. Leonie suggests reintroducing simple, loving gestures into your day.
Things like greeting your partner with a kiss when they walk through the door or not brushing off their hug when they reach out. Holding hands during dinner cleanup may feel trivial, but these small actions show your partner they matter. They create connection in a way that feels manageable, even in the busiest seasons.
Speak Their Love Language
We all have different ways of feeling loved and appreciated, and knowing your partner’s “love language” can work wonders when emotional capacity is limited. Whether it’s words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, or quality time, Leonie encourages parents to lean into these cues.
For instance, if your partner thrives on words of affirmation, reminding them how much you appreciate their support can go a long way. Does physical touch light them up? A back rub during movie night might speak louder than a grand gesture. Focusing on their love language makes connection feel effortless, even when time and energy are scarce.
It’s a Work in Progress
Remember, intimacy doesn’t have to look like it did pre-kids. A thriving relationship doesn’t require grand gestures or hours of uninterrupted time (although that would be nice, right?). It’s about making small but meaningful choices that strengthen your bond within the flow of your day-to-day life.
Parenting might drain you at times, but it can also bring you closer when you intentionally invest in your relationship. Thanks to Leonie Akhidenor’s insights, we’re reminded that connection is always possible, even in the exhausting, beautiful chaos of parenthood.
To hear more pearls of wisdom from Leonie, make sure you follow us on Instagram to watch all Leonie’s Q&A videos. Remember, your relationship matters, and those small, loving moments can make all the difference.
