Choosing an early learning service for your child is a deeply personal decision, but when your child is neurodivergent, it can feel less like a decision and more like a risk assessment. You want a place where they won't just be tolerated but genuinely understood, where their differences are met with curiosity rather than correction, and where they can walk through the door each morning feeling like they belong.
The challenge is that inclusion has become something of a buzzword. Most services will tell you they welcome all children, but fewer can show you what that looks like in practice. And for parents navigating diagnoses, assessments, or even the earliest inklings that their child experiences the world differently, it can be hard to know what questions to ask, what to look for, or what to trust when every centre tour starts to sound the same.
We spoke with Leanne from Neurominded, a Perth-based consultancy that helps early learning services build their capacity to support neurodivergent children and their families. With over 15 years of experience across the disability and early childhood sector and a Master's in Autism and Neurodivergent Studies underway, Leanne brings both frontline insight and strategic expertise to the question of what genuine inclusion looks like in practice.
Her insights break down into the questions worth asking, the signs worth noticing, and the signals that tell you whether a service will follow through.
What to ask
Go beyond philosophy and ask about practices
Families often focus on a centre's values statement during a tour, and while philosophy matters, Leanne says it's only part of the picture. "Families often focus on philosophy, but systems matter just as much," she tells us. "Inclusion should be reflected in day-to-day practices, not just statements." It's one thing for a service to talk about inclusion, and another for them to have the structures in place to deliver on it consistently.
Consider asking how the service documents and implements agreed adjustments, how they ensure consistency when staff are absent, whether they've worked with their state's Inclusion Agency, and whether they have a current Strategic Inclusion Plan.
Many families aren't aware that services can access support through the Inclusion Support Program (ISP), which provides access to a Specialist Equipment Library and funding through the Inclusion Development Fund for things like an additional Educator and team capacity building through training and coaching,
Families don't apply directly for these supports because it's the services themselves that do, which means asking whether a centre has engaged with the ISP can tell you a lot about how proactive they are. If you're not sure where to start, you can search and compare early learning services in your area through Care for Kids.
Pay attention to what happens before your child even starts
One of the biggest misconceptions parents carry into their search is the idea that Educators need specific training in their child's diagnosis to provide quality care. Leanne says the strongest indicator of a well-prepared team is something more fundamental. "Genuinely well-prepared Educators don't prepare for diagnoses," she explains. "They prepare for children. They recognise each child has a unique sensory profile, communication style, regulatory needs, and strengths. They don't assume. They ask."
During orientation, pay attention to whether Educators are asking specific questions including what your child enjoys, what helps them feel safe, what feels overwhelming, and how they communicate their needs. If those conversations are happening early and the answers are being documented and embedded into planning, the service is building connections from the outset rather than waiting for challenges to arise.
What to look for
The language Educators use will tell you everything
You don't need a background in early childhood education to pick up on the difference between a service that's doing the work and one that's performing it. Notice whether staff talk about "managing behaviour" and "coping with expectations," or whether they talk about supporting regulation, access, and adjustments.
As Leanne puts it, "Neuro-affirming environments understand that behaviour is communication. They focus on understanding children’s developing nervous systems rather than controlling them."
In an inclusive setting, you're likely to hear phrases like "how can we support them" and "how can we make this environment more accessible." The through line is that responsibility does not sit with the child to change, but with the adults to shift their perspective and to assess the environment.
Know the difference between outdated frameworks and affirming ones
For parents without a professional background in neurodiversity, it can be difficult to tell whether a centre's approach to childhood is progressive or simply well-packaged. Leanne offers a clear way to distinguish the two: "Outdated frameworks focus on fixing the child. A neuro-affirming, human-rights-informed approach asks instead: what barriers exist, and how can we remove them?"
The distinction shapes everything from how Educators respond when a child is overwhelmed to how the physical environment is designed. In an affirming setting, differences in communication, sensory responses, play and thinking are treated as valid variations of development rather than problems to be eliminated. Look for services that proactively consider sensory load, lighting and acoustics, predictable transitions, visual supports, movement access, and flexible group sizes, because these aren't luxury extras but signs that a service has been designed for diversity from the ground up.
When you walk into a centre, the space itself will often tell you more than any mission statement. Leanne says thoughtfully designed environments feel different before anyone explains a word, so look for clearly organised spaces, defined quiet areas, adjustable lighting, clear movement pathways, and visual supports embedded meaningfully into the environment.
What to trust
Consistency over promises
Good intentions are common in early learning, but Leanne says what separates a genuinely inclusive service from one that means well is whether those intentions are backed by consistent follow-through. Strong services document agreed supports, follow up after meetings, proactively suggest adjustments, and can clearly explain how they've engaged inclusion supports.
On the other hand, she flags a few warning signs to watch for, including high staff turnover without strong handover systems, vague reassurances without written plans, early labelling of a child as "challenging," and limited knowledge of available inclusion supports. "Good intentions are common," Leanne says. "Embedded systems build confidence."
Partnership that feels shared, not one-sided
A collaborative relationship between families and Educators is central to a child's experience, and Leanne describes what that looks like when it's working well. "Educators are curious about family context, integrate insights into practice, check in regularly, and adjust when needed," she shares. "You don't feel like you are persuading them to include your child. You feel like you are working together to ensure your child thrives within the service." If you find yourself constantly advocating just to be heard, or if meetings feel like formalities rather than genuine exchanges, that's worth paying attention to.
Trust yourself, too
When asked what single piece of advice she'd give to parents beginning their search, Leanne reframed the question entirely. Rather than telling families what to ask, she focused on what they should remember. "If a setting does not work for your child, it does not mean your child is the problem," she says. "Many early learning systems were designed around a dominant neurotype. Inclusion is contextual."
If your child is consistently dysregulated or you feel unheard, that may reflect environmental or attitudinal barriers rather than your child's capacity. Your child does not need to shrink themselves to belong, and your instinct as a parent is one of the most reliable tools you have in finding the right fit.
Take it with you
There's a lot to keep in mind when you're touring centres and comparing options. We've put together a downloadable checklist that you can take with you on centre visits, covering the key questions to ask, the cues to look for, and the trust signals that tell you whether a service will follow through.
Finding the right fit for your family
Searching for an early learning service that understands your neurodivergent child can feel overwhelming, but you don't have to navigate it alone. Neurominded works directly with early learning services to help them build inclusive, neuro-affirming practices that go beyond good intentions and into embedded, everyday action.
If you want to know whether a service near you is working with Neurominded, or you'd like to connect your child's centre with their support, get in touch with Neurominded.
