Raising resilient children is on the radar of every parent because we all know that going through life without a good, healthy outlook only makes the challenges of the teenage and adult years that much harder. But how do we make sure that our children are exposed to things that are going to boost their ability to bounce back?
We look at five phrases to help your children from a very early age and build their resilience to help them become stronger, healthier, and happier humans throughout their lives.
What is resilience?
Resilience is the ability to cope, learn and thrive in a world where we face adversity. With all of the changes that can occur regularly in a child's day-to-day life, the ability to adapt and accept those changes is all a part of being resilient. It's also how they manage or cope with challenges they might face. These could be social interactions that aren't as pleasant as your child might like them to be or even your toddler wanting the green cup but you gave them the red one - don't lie, we've all been there!
It's so important that we get started as early as we can. The literature review for the DEECD states, “Given the rapid brain development that occurs in the first five years of life, it is critical to promote healthy development and where necessary, intervene early before problems become entrenched.”
Building it up
So now we know what it is, how do we build it up? We talk about things you can do every day in your home, education setting, and with your family that will help to build the resilience of young people all around you.
That sounds challenging
Validating their feelings is always step one. Making them take a moment to feel like their OK to feel the way they feel and get them thinking about the challenge ahead is a good thing. It will help you to workshop with them on the tools they need to move to the next step.
How will you handle that?
Tempting as it is, when you solve a problem for your child or young person in your life, you might be giving them the answer but it's not teaching them anything for next time. Talk them through it and gently offer advice if you feel they might be on the wrong track but ideally, you want them to get to the end result and be proud when they get there.
How do you feel about that?
Especially if there is an unfavorable social situation but in many instances, we can support our children by asking how something makes them feel. Once they are in touch with their feelings, it will make things easier to navigate.
Don’t let this ruin your day
Help them to see that this is just a moment in time and that the whole day is not a waste. Some things are really big in a child's eyes and making them see that the wonderful thing that happened this morning still happened, reminding them of how they felt about it when it happened, and helping them shift their attention to a future event can help them see that while their problem seems big right now, it won't be for long.
I believe in you
Making sure they know that you have faith in their decision on how to solve certain things is really important. Being your child's champion and sticking in their corner means that no matter how things work out, you're there for them.
Why emphasise resilience?
Life can throw some pretty crazy things at us at any given time, throughout our childhood or our adult life. The more resilience we build, the more we can pivot, adapt and cope with pressure, challenge, and change.
Mayoclinic.org states, "Resilience can help protect you from various mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety. Resilience can also help offset factors that increase the risk of mental health conditions, such as being bullied or previous trauma."
