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| Preparing Mum for the first day of child care |
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A child's first day at child care is an exciting, nerve wracking, milestone. Yet, with all the focus on the child, mum is often forgotten. With a myriad of emotions to contest with, as well as the necessity to re-focus an exhausted baby brain back into the working world, the shift into a child care regime can often be harder on mum than baby.
The first day
It's natural to be nervous about your child's first day at child care and adjusting to the new daytime routine will take some time. A gentle transition is often best for both mum and child, so try to start child care a few days before you actually return to work.
Build up the time spent at your child care service over several days - starting with a few hours and increasing the hours to a full day. This gives you the opportunity to practice the routine ahead of time. If that is not possible, speak to your manager to see if you can do some shorter days in the first week.
In your first few weeks of work you want to arrive calm and unflustered, despite the fact that you may have done more that morning than some colleagues will do in a week. So cut down your stress by being super-organised. Plan out what you will wear for the whole week, have it ready and ensure you have a couple of back-ups ready in case of last-minute spew-up emergencies.
To avoid rushing, pack all bags the night before, and in the week leading up to starting child care practice leaving the house on time, and time the drive. Even if you are nervous, speak positively to your child about the new centre; a child will always pick up on your nerves.
When you leave your child at their child care service on the first day, take a moment to stop and breathe. Have tissues at hand, but try and save the tears for the car park or the walk to the bus stop - it's normal for children to cry, and you too! Centres are very used to anxious mums, so call the centre any time for reassurance and updates.
Tell the carer you don't want to miss any major milestones. They can send photos or texts to ensure you are still connected through the day.
Be kind to yourself
Though you might want to be that career-hungry workhorse you were pre-baby, be patient, it's OK not to be the same employee that you were. You might not be first in, last out anymore, but your multi-tasking and time-management skills are impressive, and your empathy and compassion are through the roof. If it feels wrong, don't make any dramatic decisions until you have adjusted to the new world. Give yourself time to adapt and adjust. Being a working mum is not easy, so find little successes - I got out of the house on time, I made it to work without baby vomit on my shirt.
Get as much rest as you can. The extra demands of a working day on top of possibly still handling night feeds is enough to send the best of career mums into a spin. Your sleep takes priority over laundry. Keep weekends free for the early weeks. You will probably feel pulled in every direction, so allow yourself time to recharge.
Focus on the good times
We all know that home life is not all newborn snuggles and baby giggles. As well as working, we need to still navigate through the pooey nappies, the tantrums, broken sleep, and times when you cry just because you don't think you can do it anymore.
But in the times you do have together, forget that you are burning the candle at both ends and instead enjoy those moments, making sure you have quality time during your days off. Remind yourself that child care doesn't replace family; you will always be the child's primary carer. The feeling of unease will pass.
Many women grapple with guilt in the early days of returning to work. When the guilt strikes, remind yourself you have done your research, and focus on the positives of the centre you chose. Also, focus on the life skills your child is now learning - the friends they are making and the social connections they are now experiencing.
Keep it together, you are doing great!
Exhausted, overwhelmed by the huge pile of work and the even huger pile of laundry, worrying about your baby, totally wrecked by lack of sleep? In the first few months back, there will be days when you just want to quit, but stick at it and try to keep it together at work. Give it some time before you vent to your boss. If you still aren't coping after a month or so, talk to your boss, and find a healthy balance for you and your family.
If you are nervous about returning to work, arrange to meet a colleague for lunch or coffee ahead of time so you are up to speed with any major changes.
Above all else, allow yourself to enjoy your work, while your child is in care. Put the guilt aside and be confident that you are making the best choice for you and your child. Have a proper lunch, enjoy a coffee, and take these mini breaks for yourself.
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