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| The low down on toilet training | ||||
| Parents and toddlers: are you ready? | ||||
 by Sophie CrossToilet Training: It's one of the milestones in our children's early development that most parents view with a mixture of eager anticipation and complete and utter dread. On the up-side, you can look forward to no more having to deal with nappies, nappy bags, exploding bottoms in inappropriate places and to the normality and convenience of adult-style toilet habits (until they're teenagers, that is). On the down-side there's that whole interim period where your toddler is confused about where and when to go and also obsessed by his or her own excrement. They all are. There's no getting away from it. They see you being slightly obsessed by it, so they naturally follow your lead! Just in a slightly different way. Most parents will have a few episodes of wees and poos on carpets and floors, beds or furniture being smeared with poo. Poo is interesting. It's readily available and feels like playdough. My daughter smeared her wall, wardrobe doors and drawer fronts with her poo. I had to unscrew all handles and knobs and scrub everything until I'd pretty much taken the surface off the paint and chrome. It's the most revolting thing in the world. But toddlers just love it. Learning to use the toilet is a big step for toddlers and it can be difficult and very stressful for some. Some children just seem to train themselves when they are ready, but many need a little or a lot of help from their parents. There's no real timeline for it. Like everything else, some will be ready earlier than others, but it's usually somewhere between 2 and 3 years old and girls seem to be quicker on the uptake than boys (which will be a continuing theme throughout their lives!). It's not a race, and it's best to wait until they are ready to avoid problems. Above all, don't bow to social pressures and smug parents telling you how early their children were out of nappies (they probably weren't anyway!). You and your child are ready when you're ready and not before. Make sure you and your partner are both working together too. It could take literally days. It could take months. But you will get there and the more positive an experience you make it for your child, the easier it will be and the fewer problems you'll have in the long run. THE STEPS 1. Readiness: Your little one needs to be able to tell when he or she needs to wee or poo and also to be able to hold it in a bit if required. Signs they are ready to do this would be things like telling you he needs to do a wee, or has just done one; telling you his nappy is wet or trying to pull it off and also telling you he doesn't want to wear one anymore. 2. Talk to them: Some toddlers take to toilet training like ducks to water, but you can help your child get ready by doing a few things like teaching them the right words to use like wet, dry, wee, poo, its coming etc. You can also help a lot by talking to them about what they're doing, so they're conscious of the toilet process…"I think you're doing a wee/poo, I think you want to go the toilet". It's really just raising their awareness of the whole loo process. 3. Help them to use the toilet: Many toddlers bypass the potty completely and go straight for the loo. Make sure they have a step and a special seat to make them feel comfortable and able to do it by themselves. And if you haven't already, toddler proof your loo/bathroom, putting cleaners, toiletries and also the loo brush (very fascinating to small kids!) out of the way. 4. Praise them! There's nothing worse in the toilet training process for a toddler than to introduce a sense of fear or worry or wrongdoing. It will set you right back to the beginning and beyond! Even if they make a mess or don't quite get to the loo in time, at least they've had a go and been aware of what they're doing. Toddlers are constantly distracted by everything around them and even if they start to think about going to the toilet, they may well forget what they're doing half way there! It's a process. There will be a lot of mishaps! Wee control often comes some time before poo control! Some toddlers will simply not go to the loo until they've got their nappy back on – or they've just walked away from the toilet! You can persist, but they may not be quite ready. NIGHT TIME Although some toddlers come straight out of nappies at night as well as by day, night time toilet training will often take a lot longer. Get them into the habit early of going to the loo right before they go to bed and try to get them to wee as well as poo if they can. Don't put them to bed straight after a large bottle or drink. Most toddlers tend to wee first thing in the morning. If your toddler's nappy is consistently dry through the night, but then wet first thing, they're probably just about ready. Don't leave them in their bed once you know they're awake. Go straight in and straight to the loo. It's best if they're also at the point where they are in a bed or low-sided cot so they can actually get out and go to the loo if they want to. Otherwise you're more likely to have to be prepared for your toddler frequently taking off of nappies in bed and throwing the contents around the place!!!! If you're really lucky and your child is in a child care centre, then you may find it's a very easy process indeed. Child care centres have toddler size toilets, strict routines and a sense of security. Toddlers see other children using the toilet and simply follow their lead! BEDWETTING Bedwetting is pretty common. Every child does it from time to time, until they're brains are geared to waking them up when their bodies need a wee! Some adults don't even have this ability! Don't worry about bed-wetting if your child is under five or so, but if bed-wetting continues after they start school, or if they've been dry and start wetting again, check with the doctor to make sure there is no physical or psychological problem. Over 10% of children in the younger primary school years still wet their beds. It's a time of huge change, stress and adjustment for many children and it's to be expected. Most will grow out of it naturally. Sometimes children continue to wet the bed for other reasons. And if your child continues, don't avoid the issue because the longer it goes on the more stressful it is for the child. They can feel very alienated being the only one wearing night nappies on sleepovers and it only adds to the stress. If you have any issues or concerns, just consult your GP. They are well-versed in the stresses of toilet training! For the most part, you'll most likely look back on toilet training and wonder what all the fuss was about. Just remember to take time, always keep it positive and sooner rather than later you'll stop having to wipe down walls and floors and wash soaking or soiled pants every day! And wine helps. Good luck! |
Sophie Cross is a public relations consultant and writer who has publicised and written about everything from makeup to The Muppets, child care to celebrity chefs and perfume to Partners in Population and Development! Originally from the UK and as a languages graduate she has worked around the world, living in Australia for the last 11 years where she runs, PR Chicks.
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