Children and lying - CareforKids.com.au®
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Children & lying
Strategies for dealing with children who lie
Some children start lying as early as age three and this behaviour can be difficult to manage in the child care environment.

Most children learn that exaggerating and embellishing the details of a story may be a great way of attracting extra attention however lying to cover up misbehaviour is another matter entirely.

Children lie for very different reasons to adults and it is worth keeping this in mind when considering the best ways of tackling this issue. According to Jodie Lines from childcarelounge.com the main reasons why children lie are:

  1. To conform to expected behavior, avoid punishment or receive reward. A young child may realise that a concrete action such as taking an extra biscuit without asking is wrong and yet see no problem with denying the action.
  2. To avoid embarrassment and preserve self-esteem.
  3. Because they don't yet understand the difference between fact and fiction. This is very common with younger children, whose stories may simply be a reflection of an active imagination.

The best ways to prevent lying are to:

  • Avoid giving a child the opportunity to lie: This may happen when you confront a child for an action you already know they did. If you catch a child standing beside something which has been broken, say "I see you broke this object can you tell me what happened?" rather than "Did you smash this object?"
  • Be a good role model and practice what you preach. Young children do not understand the difference between a white lie and a full blown lie so encourage staff to be honest as possible.

Dealing with lying:

  • When trying to piece together the details of an incident try and encourage open ended conversation about what happened rather than threats about what may happen if lying is discovered. For example: "I am not sure that is what happened so can you tell me again so we can figure out how this object was broken".
  • Be sure to maintain a service culture which promotes the use of honesty and encourages people to be honest at all times. In simple terms explain to children the importance of honesty and talk about how it builds trust and social relationships.
  • Acknowledge a child's feelings when they lie and/or the cause of the lie for example: "I can see why you may be feeling a bit upset/ashamed about that, but I need to know what happened so we deal with it together."
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